A post from Gavin...

I will apologize in advance of what I expect might end up to be a long-winded, rambling read; but feel free to read at your leisure even if it takes you a day to read it all :)

So, where to start?
I guess I won't start with the past yet and talk just a smidge about this blog / site etc... First and foremost I need to sincerely thank everyone who has called, emailed, signed the guest book, offered prayers, wishes, help, hope and everything. I cannot express in any written, verbal or other sort of form the depth of feelings that my family and I have felt from y'all! From work colleagues to out of town Friends, to customers, to relatives and everyone it is simply amazing to see hope and notes coming in from everywhere; and also to notice how word spreads! We have personally talked to very (relatively) few people, yet I have acquaintances from years ago that have made contact to pass along thoughts from everywhere. Please keep them coming, they are an enormous source of hope and praise!

Things can change quickly, can't they? (or...a history so far...)
So, many of you may have just heard in the last 5 days or so that 'Gavin is fighting Cancer' and not much more than that, and here's my chance to provide some prospective on how my family find ourselves today. One thing I don't want people to do is read what has gone on and assume that there were signs, symptoms or 'More they could have done...' I am beyond looking at what could have been : I read a good quote ( my opinion ) last night I'd like to share:

( apologize for the weird reference :) From 'Eldest, Christopher Paolini ( 2nd book to Eragon; fantasy)
'Live in the Present, remember the Past, and Fear not the Future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now.'

How true is that? More true for me than ever before. Anyway, continuing...

Anywhere from months and months ago, to somewhere before labor day 2006 is when most folks close to me observed my first big problem with my back. I had traveled to NY on business and woke up the next day with some serious back pain and figured it was the soft plush seating avail ably in a continental commuter coach a320 :)... anyway, after that business trip my family and I headed to Hendersonville, NC and Camp Tekoa United Methodist camp for our yearly Church family retreat. I think more than a few folks will remember me hobbling around or just sitting doped up on Ibuprofen and not doing too much. Basically walking, sleeping, sitting and standing were all painful; but I've probably just messed my back up with travel... no big deal.

So, returning from Camp I headed to my Dr. and he prescribed some exercises and hot shower stretched for what we assumed was sore muscles. (Xray of spine just to take a look... Normal Xray doesn't show anything unexpected for my age..). After a while that the stretches would help, but not completely relieve symptoms, we switched to some good 'ol PT. Yeah, physical therapy including rubber-band stretching, hand-pedaling, massage, Tenser ( electrical stimulation of muscle groups around the affected one; hoping to muddle the brain and decrease stimuli to tightened muscles). Also, note I was using several, um... self-medication treatments ( heavy ibuprofen, otc 'back pain' pills; green tea; diet, exercises; nothing illegal :):) and these all weren't doing the trick.

So, Back to the Dr, again... this time, try some slightly stronger meds... Muscle relaxers and some prescription pain maintenance ( not Vicodin...yet :) )

Enter ~3-4 weeks ago... medication 'just not helping much'... Ok, try these (stronger) meds and let us know if it helps in 1-1/2 weeks.
Alrighty-then... stronger meds not doing much? Ok, let's get you to a Spine Specialist...

Closer to Today.... Had an appointment with Total Spine (Ballantyne) 12/11/2006 where they did an exam, reviewed the first XRays, and ordered some of their own with more pictures. Nothing on the xrays, Let's try and do an MRI and take a closer look inside.

The first MRI would have happened sooner, but my Grandmother passed away that same week and we made a family trip back to Ohio for her funeral. It was wonderful to be with Family and relatives and celebrate & see her one last time. She led a very full life, outlived 2 children and a husband, and was more than ready to join them in Heaven! I have only happiness for her, now that she's joined them up there with Jesus!!!

ok, back to me... When I was in Toledo I still had my medication, heat pads & pain ( of course!) and was holding out 'till I would be able to get my MRI and see what's going on. (Oh, I did mention Vicodin, didn't I?) Well, many personal Friends know I have um, issues with stairs.... It's a unique trait actually, the ability to not only slip occasionally, but also to fall up ( yes, up) anyway, in toledo at our freinds house, I decided to chose 'Down' as a direction and ended up falling / sliding about 4 stairs down and really wrenching my back (yes, I do think I cried.). I mention falling, not because it caused any damage, but it did get me off my butt to quickly schedule that MRI ASAP. (Oh yeah, and I did get about 4 days worth of Vicodine and Soma ( muscle Relaxers)... Those meds DID work well and took away the pain edge I'd had for some time ).

So, we made a call after the emergency room to schedule an MRI as soon as humanly possible on Monday 12/17/2006. 6:45am MRI, Charlotte Medical Center Main.

12/17/2006 Things accellerate rapidly...
So, have to tell you, lying on hard flat wood or plastic for an MRI is not pleasing given the pain I was in... Anyway... ~ 2 hours later and we're home... I'll work from home today, feeling too much pain to function well anyway.

10:30am My family physicial calls ( haven't talked to him an ~ month( total spine had taken the lead) and quietly he tells me 'I'm sorry to have to tell you this, we found something concerning on your MRI and it appears to be a tumor inside your vertebrae and putting pressure on the spinal cord. We have a great specialist who will be calling you from Total Spine to discuss things further and set up an appointment". Wow. I'm stunned. He said Tumor. But is that the same as the 'C' word? Some people get nodules, cysts, 'growths, tumors... they all don't mean 'C' do they? I couldn't think at this point, just dumfounded...

10:45-11am - Total Spine specialist called... "I'm terribly sorry, we found a tumor that is on the spine, etc.... same as 1st Dr., yada yada... then: 'We are sending your information over to Charlotte Hematology / Oncology for them to schedule an appointment..." WHAT!?!?!? Did he just say Oncology? as in Cancer, Oncology right? no, can't be... denail... Dr. reiterates I'm sorry it appears that it may be Cancer; these are the folks we sent one of our own nurses to; best in the business, etc etc... I just sat down after that phone call. it's true. Potentially Cancer.

11:15am -- Oncology calls. We've reviewed your MRI and would like to schedule an appointment. Can you be here by 12:15? Wow. the Dr's never schedule something so quick unless it's that important. More fear and trepidation. Why so soon? what do they know? So, we make the appointment and after about 2 hours of discussion of my back tumor, the Oncologist want's me in the hospital for additional tests today. 'Ok, how about after 4pm when the kids are home from school?", I ask?. DR: I'd rather have you there sooner if possible.

Ok, Thank God for blessings, My father-in-law always stays pre-christmas -> newyears with us in Charlotte; he can manage the house while we're away.

3:30pm ( yes, still Monday 12/17)
Dr wants to do : CT Scan, Brain MRI, PET Scan, blood work; nothing too major except Spine Specialist may decide to do Biopsy of something from my back/tumor ( never happened). Finally about 9:30pm I'm done with my tests ( for the day...) Lots for Dr's to review, talk to you tomorrow.

Tuesday 12/18 - Day 2 hospital Hooray for me, More tests! Heading down at 9am for a PET Scan. PET scan is where they inject a radioactive isotope into the blood and Cancer cells are supposed to metabolize chemicals faster than normal cells so... if you see high metabolism of the Isotope somewhere it's a fast metabolizing process; your heart and brain light up like crazy and so do Cancer cells. Dr. is also concerned about my Liver from other tests and wants to do a Biopsy ( yeah, get in there and 'take a sample', fun fun. ) Bring it on.

Dr's need more time to review all the tests so far, looks like they've taken all the pictures, blood, samples etc to get full scope of everything and come up with a game plan. In the meantime, the spine and oncologist want to start me on Radiation treatment for the tumor in my spine to reduce spinal cord pressure, concerns and pain. Looks like 10 treatments ( 1 each day ). Fortunately so far, Radiation therapy doesn't have any side effects, and the most I might have would be some discomfort in my throat; but nothing even through Christmas eve so far!

Have to mention, 4th floor CMC Main oncology worked very well to adjust meds and minimize my pain to almost pre-labor day... I feel better without flying too fog-headed; get lots of needed catch-up sleep.

Wednesday 12/19 - Freedom from Hospital food!
Dr's are done with any testing, pain is under control and they are letting me out just in time to make My daughter's Author Celebration ( Kids wrote short stories, and then read in front of the parent's class) I was so glad to be able to go! Those nurses worked their tails off to bust me out, checkout etc. Dr. would like to schedule a followup meeting Thursday to cover the results. More fear and trepidation...

Thursday 12/20 - Radiation and information
Headed in for radiation treatment then we have a 3:15pm with Oncologist.

Semi-final findings
So, how did our 3:15 go... well, they are still working to specifically identify and give this stuff a Name; but suffice it to say the following: ( disclaimer: please understand that we are trying to be intentionally vague as to exact diagnosis, type, location etc. we don't want folks focusing on a single item; searching the 'internet' and getting mis-information, or even worse, doing our family an unintentional disservice by sharing inaccuracies with others who haven't talked to us; we hope you understand. Our doctors have counseled us that their only recommended, authoritative source for information is Cancer.Gov)

It appears that the cancer potentially started in my abdomen and has moved to other areas of my body, making it a somewhat later 'Stage' cancer ( that is, greater stages are defined as progression from a single source/area) and we've mentioned that there is some in my abdomen and also my spine / vertebrae.


So, what now?
For treatment plans, prognosis, etc; So far I am planning on completing the radiation treatments for my back sometime after New Years; and then the plan will be *some* sort of ChemoTherapy. My Oncologist says I'm very young and healthy and we'll be able to do some very aggressive treatment moving ahead. Right now I have high hopes and feel really well, better than in months!

Family Time - Well, I'm stoked that this will be an awesome week! I'll be home all week spending some awesome time with the Kids, Wife and Friends and we'll keep this site updated as we keep on goin! Take care and enjoy the holidays; stay safe!


Last few words for today...
Please don't take this as a doom & gloom, end of the world comment from me, but a perspective adjustment I have made over the last few days. Cherish every single moment with everyone you meet and remember that everyone you meet will remember you. Will they remember the grumpy person who didn't make eye contact, or will they remember the person that even with all the hustle and bustle, had time to pass a simple smile or Merry Christmas. Treat everyone you meet, come in contact with with Love and respect and remember the reason for tonight and tomorrow:

He came tonight in human form to save US and give us everlasting life. Not everlasting life on earth; but to Live with him in Heaven. Forever.

Maybe a little religious for some of you but 'It is what it is...' *Thanks Sam :)

Thanks if you made it this far! This website will be a wonderful outlet for me to keep in contact and let y'all keep tabs on my positive progress!

Keep the Love, Prayers and Hope coming; I can't express how positive they have made my family and I!
-Gavin